you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
BRING THE BAGELS
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize