I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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