Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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