Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
