Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize