She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
