I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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