your thong is hanging out like whoa
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
operation have a gay friend backfired
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
