It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
