When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
