return my video game
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Randomize
