Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
