OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
