I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
