have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
