Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
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