So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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