Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize