i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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