So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
