your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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