i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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