hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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