'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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