I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
