Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
sarcasm needs its own font
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
