i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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