You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
And my parents said I crawled through the house
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
