I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize