just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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