And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
