She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
