Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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