Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
