He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
