I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize