Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Is it penis luge time yet?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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