So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
