I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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