apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
You were trust falling into bushes
Randomize
