You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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