if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
