Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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