eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
