I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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