Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
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