Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize