I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
There are leaves in my underwear?
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