im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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