Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
