Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
