it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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