No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
