do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
