Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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