do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
