Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
