Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
