NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
