At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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