I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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