I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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