Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
